Godly Pursuit: Building Christ-Centered Relationships that Last

📚 Introduction

In today’s culture, relationships are often rushed, confused, or built on shallow foundations. Many young men don’t know how to pursue women with purpose. And many young women don’t know how to trust the process when modern dating pressures them to settle or chase attention.

But Scripture gives us something better—a vision of godly pursuit and partnership rooted in humility, service, and spiritual maturity. In this 7-day Bible Study, we’ll walk through what it means to pursue love the Jesus way: with intentionality, integrity, emotional self-control, and deep respect for God’s design for intimacy.

This study is designed for couples or individuals preparing for a future relationship. Each day will challenge you to reflect, journal, and seek God’s wisdom as you build stronger spiritual and emotional connections that honor Him.

Whether you're already in a relationship, newly dating, or seeking healing before beginning again, this plan will guide you into truth, clarity, and real love.

📅 Day 1: The Heart of Pursuit

📖 Primary Scripture

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Matthew 6:33 (NIV)

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

💭 Devotional: Why Your Heart Matters More Than Your Plans

Before we talk about pursuing a person, we need to talk about pursuing God. The condition of your heart shapes the direction of your relationships. If your heart is wounded, confused, proud, or impatient, that will show up in how you love, how you speak, and how you commit.

The world teaches us to chase after compatibility, physical attraction, or a “perfect match.” But God calls us to something deeper: to pursue righteousness first, trusting that everything else—including love—will come in the right time.

Young men, the strength of your pursuit will only be as pure as the source it flows from. Are you chasing a woman because of loneliness, lust, or pressure from others? Or are you seeking to honor God and invite someone into your walk with Him?

Young women, are you guarding your heart, or giving pieces of it to people who haven’t shown they can be trusted with your vulnerability?

Godly pursuit begins with a surrendered heart. Not one that strives, but one that listens. When your heart is aligned with God’s will, you’ll stop rushing—and start discerning. You'll stop searching for someone to complete you and start becoming someone who complements the purpose of another.

Let today be a reset. Let your pursuit of a relationship begin with your pursuit of Christ.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. Have I been guarding my heart or letting it be influenced by the world’s definition of love?
2. What motivations drive my desire for a relationship?
3. In what ways can I seek God’s Kingdom more intentionally right now?

🙏 Prayer for Today

Lord, I want You to be the center of my heart. Purify my motives. Cleanse me from selfish desires. Help me to pursue You first, knowing that all other things—including love—will fall into place in Your perfect timing. Teach me to guard my heart with wisdom and to love from a place of strength, not need. In Jesus’ name, amen.

📅 Day 2: Godly Standards and Sacred Boundaries

📖 Primary Scripture

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 (NIV)

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Song of Songs 2:7 (NIV)

“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”

💭 Devotional: Sacred Isn’t Boring—It’s Beautiful

We live in a world that mocks boundaries. People often equate passion with recklessness and love with unchecked emotion. But God sees passion through a different lens—one rooted in discipline, honor, and holiness.

When a man and woman begin growing closer, the line between what’s wise and what’s tempting can get blurry. That’s why setting God-honoring boundaries is not about restriction—it’s about protection. It's not about limiting love, but about preserving its depth and purity.

God calls us to sanctification in all areas of our lives—including romantic relationships. That means choosing respect over pressure, waiting over rushing, and holiness over fleeting pleasure. It means saying no not because you’re afraid, but because you’re brave enough to trust God’s timing.

If you're in a relationship, evaluate your physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries. Are they Christ-centered? Are they bringing peace or confusion? Young men—true leadership begins with self-control. Young women—your worth is not measured by what you give away but by Who you belong to.

God’s standards aren’t old-fashioned. They’re eternal. And they lead to lasting love that doesn’t burn out in regret.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. What boundaries (physical, emotional, spiritual) do I currently have in place?
2. Are my boundaries helping me grow closer to God—or further away?
3. What is one area where I need to invite God’s wisdom and correction?

🙏 Prayer for Today

God, help me to honor You in my relationships. Give me the courage to set and protect boundaries that reflect Your holiness. Teach me to lead with integrity and pursue with patience. May my desire never outpace my obedience. Purify my heart, and help me wait well. In Jesus’ name, amen.

📅 Day 3: Respecting Her Heart, Honoring His Purpose

📖 Primary Scripture

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Philippians 2:3–4 (NIV)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

💭 Devotional: Real Love Looks Like Sacrifice

Love is more than butterflies. It’s more than flirting and feelings and passion. Real, biblical love—whether you’re dating or married—looks like sacrifice. Christ’s model for love wasn’t based on convenience, mood, or attraction. It was rooted in a willingness to lay down His life.

Young men, to truly pursue a woman in a God-honoring way is to respect her heart. That means protecting her emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It means not awakening feelings you’re not ready to commit to. It means speaking truth, not manipulation; encouragement, not flattery; protection, not pressure.

Young women, honoring his purpose means praying for him, building him up, and encouraging him to walk in the calling God has for him—before trying to become his everything. Relationships thrive when both people are deeply surrendered to Christ first, and one another second.

This kind of love isn’t fast or flashy. It’s not always exciting. But it is holy, and it lasts. The world doesn’t teach this. That’s why God’s Word must guide us.

So, how are you loving the person you’re pursuing—or hoping to pursue? Like Christ? Or like the culture?

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. What does sacrificial love look like in my current or future relationship?
2. Have I been loving in a way that reflects Christ—or the world’s version of love?
3. How can I better respect her heart or honor his purpose in my next interaction?

🙏 Prayer for Today

Jesus, thank You for modeling perfect love through Your sacrifice. Help me love like You—not selfishly, but selflessly. Teach me to respect the heart of the one You’ve placed in my life and to walk in humility and honor. Strip away my pride, my agenda, and my fear. Fill me with Your love and let that love lead my relationships. In Your holy name, amen.

📅 Day 4: Communication with Christ at the Center

📖 Primary Scripture

James 1:19 (NIV)

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

💭 Devotional: Say Less, Listen More, Pray First

If there’s one skill that can make or break a relationship, it’s communication. And not just talking—but listening, understanding, and speaking life-giving truth. Many couples stumble, not because they don’t love each other, but because they don't know how to communicate with Christ at the center.

God calls us to be slow to speak and quick to listen—but most of us reverse that order. We react, interrupt, assume, and escalate. But when Jesus is at the center of your conversations, everything changes. He teaches you to pause, to pray, to consider, and to speak not to win—but to heal.

When you're dating or married, conflict will come. Misunderstandings are guaranteed. But spiritual maturity is revealed in how you handle those moments. Are you defensive or open? Harsh or gentle? Proud or teachable?

Godly communication starts with humility and ends with honor. And the more you talk with God together, the better you'll talk to each other.

So start praying with your partner. Invite Jesus into your disagreements. Let His Spirit set the tone. Because with Him in the middle, your words can build—not break.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. How have my words helped or hurt my relationships recently?
2. Do I listen more than I speak, especially in hard conversations?
3. How can I begin inviting God into my communication habits?

🙏 Prayer for Today

Lord, teach me to communicate with wisdom, patience, and love. Help me to listen more than I speak and to speak only what builds up. Forgive me for careless words and selfish reactions. I want You at the center of every conversation I have. Help me and my partner to grow in how we talk, listen, and love. In Jesus’ name, amen.

📅 Day 5: Forgiveness and Grace in Every Season

📖 Primary Scripture

Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

💭 Devotional: Love Makes Room for Mistakes

No relationship can thrive without grace. Even the strongest couples will hurt each other, unintentionally or otherwise. That's why forgiveness isn’t optional—it’s essential. But forgiveness isn’t just letting someone off the hook. It’s choosing to love, restore, and keep no record of wrongs, even when you have every right to walk away.

Christ forgave us while we were still sinners. That’s the model. That’s the bar. It’s not easy, but it’s holy. When a man and woman both pursue a relationship with Christ, their ability to forgive grows—because they’ve both experienced grace firsthand.

Holding onto bitterness poisons intimacy. It warps how we view the other person and makes small issues feel like mountains. But when we forgive, we reset. We allow God to heal. We extend the same mercy that’s been lavishly given to us.

Young man, if she failed to meet your expectations, extend grace. Young woman, if he spoke in frustration or shut down emotionally, ask God for the strength to forgive. Grace doesn't mean no boundaries—but it does mean no resentment.

Let your relationship be a place where grace flows freely and forgiveness is normal. That’s where Christ dwells.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. Is there something I’ve been holding onto that I need to forgive?
2. How can I practice daily grace in my relationship, even in small moments?
3. Have I asked God to help me forgive the way He forgives me?

🙏 Prayer for Today

Jesus, thank You for forgiving me more times than I can count. Teach me how to forgive like You. Help me extend grace to the one I love, even when it’s hard. Heal the wounds that have been caused in our relationship—spoken and unspoken. Let our love be rooted in mercy, not perfection. I trust You to guide us through every storm. Amen.

📅 Day 6: Walking in Purity and Purpose Together

📖 Primary Scripture

1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 (NIV)

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Psalm 119:9 (NIV)

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.”

💭 Devotional: Pursuing Purity in a Culture of Compromise

The world tells you that purity is outdated—that boundaries are lame and feelings should always lead. But God calls us to something better. Something sacred. Purity isn’t just about saving sex for marriage—it’s about honoring God with your body, mind, and soul in every season of your relationship.

Whether you're dating or engaged, purity is not just your girlfriend’s responsibility—or your boyfriend’s battle. It’s a mutual pursuit. You’re in this together, standing on the Word of God, building a foundation that won’t crack when life gets hard.

Real love waits. Real love protects. Real love chooses self-control over selfish desire. And when you fall short, real love repents and returns to Jesus. There’s grace for every stumble, but there’s also power in the Spirit to walk upright.

Couples who pray together about their boundaries, encourage each other in purity, and hold each other accountable are writing a story worth telling. Not perfect—but holy, honest, and led by Christ.

Purity prepares your relationship for something deeper: trust, spiritual intimacy, and God’s blessing.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. What are some areas where I need to renew my commitment to purity?
2. How can we set or strengthen our physical and emotional boundaries together?
3. Am I asking God for strength daily to live in holiness with my partner?

🙏 Prayer for Today

Father, I want to walk in purity, not just for the sake of rules, but because I want to honor You and my partner. Help me resist temptation and lead with respect. Give us wisdom and courage to set godly boundaries, and may our relationship reflect Your holiness. Remind us that we were made for more than momentary pleasure—we were made for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.

📅 Day 7: A Relationship that Glorifies God Forever

📖 Primary Scripture

Matthew 5:14–16 (NIV)

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

📚 Supporting Scripture

Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

💭 Devotional: A Love That Shines for the Kingdom

When you and your partner choose to place Christ at the center of your relationship, you become more than just a couple—you become a kingdom force. Your relationship becomes a light in the dark, a testimony to others that true love, commitment, and holiness are still possible in this generation.

This kind of relationship doesn’t exist for itself. It exists for God’s glory. That means how you treat each other, speak to each other, serve others, and plan your future—it all points back to Him.

You're not just building a relationship—you’re building a legacy.

The world desperately needs examples of godly men and women who love one another in humility, purity, and strength. When your love reflects God’s love, others take notice. You become a safe place for friends seeking wisdom. A couple that prays over their decisions. A bond that can’t be shaken by trials, because it’s anchored in Jesus.

Let your relationship be more than romantic—let it be redemptive. Let it lead people closer to God just by watching how you love.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

1. How can our relationship shine the light of Christ to others?
2. What areas do we need to surrender to God to glorify Him more fully?
3. How do we want to be remembered as a couple who loved and followed Jesus?

🙏 Prayer for Today

God, thank You for writing our love story. We don’t want to glorify ourselves—we want to glorify You. Use our relationship to reflect Your heart. Help us love each other the way You love us: patiently, joyfully, and faithfully. Let our connection draw others into Your presence. And may we never stop growing—together and in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.